First Fall - coming to theaters August 2014

The beginning of my first fall semester as an academic librarian at a university looms in the quickly approaching distance.

What if the professors in my liaison areas don't see me as being on the same level as them? Every subject area I've been assigned ends in ology. I barely passed most ologies during my undergrad. How can I talk the talk when I don't even think of myself as being on the same level as these professors? I didn't even know what "testing instruments" were in relation to psychology until a month ago. I've never done a literature review, and I certainly never took a class called "Research methodologies."

What if I open my mouth, and stupid comes out? This is actually based on an incident from a couple of months ago. I was at my first big university workshop thing, sitting next to my Dean, in front of 40 people from across campus, and the facilitator of the workshop asked me a question about something I'd heard of, but didn't know much about. Under the stress, I panicked, and rather than say, "I don't know, I've only read about that, but haven't had any hands-on experience." Stupid came out. All over me. I felt like I was wearing it the rest of the afternoon. Like I'd thrown up on myself, and as punishment, I was forced to wear my soiled clothes until I got home and could change.

Breathe, Deana.....breathe.

What if you kick ass at your new job? Students might love your goofy down-to-earth personality, and faculty might respect your honesty about your knowledge limits, and appreciate your natural curiosity. Remember, you are here to be their guide, not to have all the answers.

Derbrarians and smackademics

Roller reference, anyone?
Working on Halloween, 2012

"From one derbrarian to another, HBD, and hit a bitch!"

This was the birthday wish I posted on Conan the Librarian's wall. I'd never heard or used the word "derbrarian" before, and thought I was awfully clever for creating, what I believed was, a new word.  "Maybe it ISN'T a new word?"

Being a curious librarian, I turned to the interwebs, and a quick search brought up a number of blogs and articles about roller derby playin' librarians:
- A blog post, and CNN clip about MegaBeth, who used to play for Rubber City Roller Girls.
- Jessamyn West went to a derby bout and discovered there are a number of derbrarians

I knew there were a goodly number of librarian's that played derby, but I didn't realize it was so big that the phrase was already a thing!

It was a couple of days later that this article from Slate showed up in my feed. Roller derby as a college sport?! Skating and derby had been showing up in my dreams for a couple of weeks too. Was this all a sign that I needed to get back on the track?

I haven't practiced with my new derby team yet, because life hasn't calmed down to a point I feel I can take on a new endeavor. Also, I accepted this new position to focus on my career. I'm not even sure I'll have the time, money, and energy to devote to derby. Plus, I don't like doing things half-assed, and I know how much of time derby can take up. 

Since I'm not currently playing derby, but I've got an itch to scratch, I decided to do a little research. Why are there so many librarians who also play derby? Is it a coincidence that both roller derby and librarianship are chalk full of stereotypes, and dominated by women? In trying to smash stereotypes, are we just creating another one?

I must admit, I get a kick out of seeing the reactions when folks learn I could hip check them into a shelving range. In searching for articles on librarianship and roller derby, I came across the concept of "smackademics" from this Chronicle of Higher Education article. It's my new favorite word. It says, "I'm smart, but I'm also tough." I also like the idea of broadening my field of inquiry to include ALL involved in academia.

So now I'm left to wonder.....could I get a scholarly article published on this topic? Surely, I can't be the only person who is interested in investigating the intersection of derby and librarianship?

I don't like reading.

There, I've said it!

I'm even tempted to use the word "hate", but I feel that might be too strong.

As a librarian, I battle with this on a daily basis because it goes against every librarian stereotype, and makes me feel like I'm betraying my chosen profession.

I struggle with librarian stereotypes that would lead you to believe on a cold and rainy day, you'd find me relaxing at home, reading a book by the fire, and snuggling with my cat. I'm not overly fond of cats, and would rather snuggle with my dogs, or do something creative, than read by a fire. I struggle with the assumption by patrons and friends that I can recommend a "good read" at the drop of a hat. I can't even remember the last book I finished. Wait, yes I ca....no, no I can't. I struggle with my place in a profession so rooted in something I suck at. Reading.

For me, reading is not a leisurely pursuit. It requires great concentration, that usually ends in frustration. I'll find myself reading the same passage over, and over, only to have retained none of it. It's easy for me to get distracted while reading, because my eye doesn't just follow along with each line, but wants to skip from place to place. For me, a page of text isn't an invitation to a new understanding of something, but a blurred mass of black and white that makes me cringe. I know it will be a battle, and some days my armor isn't strong enough to wage it.

Because it takes me so long to read a whole book, even a "fun" fiction read, I don't usually have the opportunity to read new releases. Many public libraries only let you borrow new releases for 7 or 14 days, and I'd be lucky to make it halfway through by then. Can gainfully employed people really finish a whole book in that amount of time?!

I take solace in the fact that the profession is evolving, and I am finding places where my unique talents and interests can be put to use. Also, since I'm faculty, the loan period at my new institution is one year. Maybe I'll finish a book this year!

20 resumes, 5 interviews, 2 continents, and 1 thumb drive

On any given day, as many as 5 or 6 thumb drives are abandoned in the library. They are forgotten for a number of reasons. The biggest factor is probably that our CPUs are mounted behind the monitors, so you can't actually SEE your thumb drive once you've connected it. I'm guessing most people are frantically working on a paper, finish it just in time for class, print it off, pick up their pages in a hurry, and forget the thing that their paper is saved on. These lost thumb drives have resulted in calls first thing the next morning from panicked thumb drive owners, to students casually inquiring months later if we still have it.

I have a couple of  thumb drives. I like to keep my resumes and cover letters on one, and other random documents on another. I have had my resume thumb drive for over 6 years. I'm not sure if this is due to the importance of the information on it, or if I'm just more responsible than the average student. It's a nice and simple design, no logos or flashy colors. Just brushed metal. It has a nice weight to it, and I like that the "cover" is attached. One less thing to lose!

Browsing through the files on my thumb drive is like a walk down memory lane of all the jobs I've applied for. There was the Craigslist "framer" job I applied for when I first moved to Santa Fe, and was desperate for ANYTHING full-time. I recall sending a follow up email to the poster, professing my love of picture framing, how I missed it, and how I wished to return to that industry. I never heard back. I hate that! "Maybe it was building framing, and not picture framing they were needing?" There was the resume for the job at a university in Kazakhstan. I'm sure it would have been an adventure, which is what I was looking for, but I can't help the sinking feeling that I dodged a bullet turning down the offer of an interview with the higher ups. There are resumes for jobs that would have taken me somewhere I didn't really want to live, but would have been professionally satisfying, and vice versa.

My thumb drive also houses the resume and cover letter for the position I will be taking on in a little over a month. I feel a little like Goldilocks in that this position seems, "just right" compared to so many of the others I've seen, applied, and interviewed for. This new opportunity will take me out of the state, and back to whence I came...ish. I'm OK with the "ish" portion, and more than a little excited about it. A new city to explore, new opportunities, and the chance to reinvent myself. I have no idea what the future will bring, but I'm looking forward to finding out!

Life achievement unlocked: Uncrumpling dollar bills

I am constantly amazed at some of the requests we get at the circulation desk for:

• Paperclips
• Scissors
• Glue sticks
• Poster board
• Markers
• Tape
• Note cards

Students seem to be unaware that the bookstore and the library are not one in the same. I am amazed by these requests, because when I was in school, the thought never crossed my mind that supplying these items was no ones responsibility other my own. I remember being a little too excited when I found a mini stapler that would easily fit in my pencil pouch. The independence, the self-reliance, the utter cuteness of small office supplies!

These simple requests got me thinking, "Why don't our students think the same way I did? Why do they not plan ahead and realize these are things they might need to bring from home or buy from the bookstore?" However, yesterday there was an incident that made me think this all comes down to the possibility that there is a generation that doesn't know how to problem solve.

I was sitting at the reference desk, and out of the corner of my eye, saw a youngish student walk up to the circulation desk. Since there was a student worker there, I turned my attention back to what I was doing, but not before hearing the words "change" and "copier" being uttered, and information about where to get change on campus being shared.  A minute or two passed, and the student worker walked over to me at the reference desk. I expected them to be holding a $5, or something larger, hence, the need to involve me, since our copier takes dollar bills. Imagine my confusion when they showed me a crumpled dollar bill and said, "The copier won't take it." I swooped in to save the day, and took the dollar bill, walked over to the copier, used the edge of a table to smooth the bill out, inserted it into the machine, and viola, copies!

"Thanks, I didn't even think of doing that!"

Didn't think of doing that?! So, the knowledge was there, but they didn't think about applying it? That's the FIRST thing I do when a machine won't take my dollar. The last thing I would think of doing was walking over to a service desk that doesn't have a cash register, and see if they have a nicer dollar bill I could swap.

Both the student, and student worker are in their early 20's, and were, presumably, educated in a system that teaches to pass a test, rather than encourage critical thinking skills. Is this incident indicative of a generation that, when posed with a problem, immediately looks for an answer from an external source? Maybe it isn't that they think the world should provide them with everything, but that they lack the skills to find the answer within themselves? Should I just be happy that they asked rather than left?

I know some students are looking for free stuff. But my hope is that thinking about these interactions in a different way means I'm more helpful, than annoyed, when presented with them in the future. Granted, another part of me wants to make business card sized maps with directions to the bookstore.

Quite quiet

Some days I really hate words. This might sound strange coming from a librarian, someone who is surrounded by words, but some days words make me their bitch. As I've gotten older, these days are further and further apart, but last week I had a couple of "I hate words days."

With classes starting up again, I've been hard at work putting the finishing touches on my AWESOME new teaching space (more on that at a later date). One of the last things that needed doing was a sign. During previous semesters, the space has been used as an unofficial "quiet study" area. This is a great use of the space, as I am not teaching every day, and the room is hidden in the back of the library. So, students are able to study in the room, without being disturbed by people walking through, or the inherent noise of service desks.

Now, in my defense, life has been a little hectic lately, and I have found that "I hate word days" increase their frequency when I'm feeling scattered, and unable to focus. So, I got my transparency, printed out the sign, trimmed it to fit, and installed it with the sense of accomplishment and pride that comes with officially naming something. My puffed up chest was quickly deflated the next day, when my boss let me know that it said "quite" rather than "quiet".

Normally, I would have let this roll off my back and moved right along. However, earlier in the week, it was brought to my attention that there was a pretty obvious spelling error on a library/ literacy website I manage....... Just pause for a moment and think about that....... Yep, pretty embarrassing!

So, what's my point? Well, after all these years, just when I feel like I'm getting a handle on being dyslexic, it rears it's ugly head in a very public way. However, it's been a good reminder that I REALLY need to slooooooowwwwww down when I'm feeling stressed or tired. Especially when working on something that will be seen by the public. Last week also served as an affirmation for me. If I hadn't made people aware of my being dyslexic, they probably would have seen the events differently, and maybe been less forgiving. I'm not dumb, I'm dyslexic.

What have I learned?

ALA JobLIST posted this link on their Facebook page today.

This part:

My favorite, “What I’ve Learned,” detailed her year-long experience as an intern at an accelerator: ‘I learned: It’s better to ask a question, no matter how dumb you think you sound, than to pretend you know what you’re talking about’ and ‘I’ve come to appreciate networking and learned that being friendly, making connections, and maintaining solid relationships is a top priority.’

and this part:

She sent over what I call the “self-aware cover letter.” The content acknowledges how mundane most application materials are, but understands their necessity. I recall a virtual handshake, a hat-tip to all the cover letters before hers, a quirky summary of her talents, and absolutely impeccable grammar. If I’m remembering correctly, there were allusions to a horrible food sickness in a foreign country peppered in as well. I might’ve even LOL’d.

really got me thinking about what I've learned in the 7 years since I became a librarian. 

Here's a brief list I've started:

- That I love teaching/ training because it is empowering the student to help themselves. Give a student an article, and they won’t learn critical thinking skills. Teach a student to search, and you’ve given them a skill they can use the rest of their life.

- That I don’t always react appropriately when around upset/ irrational users, but have developed the ability to reflect on such interactions and determine what I did wrong, and how I can improve. I've learned that sometimes people just want to vent and aren't looking for a solution/ explanation. I have learned that I’m able to work with the "crazy" patrons. I’ll take crazy over irrational anyday!

- That I should never be a children’s librarian. I enjoyed craft time and getting to be silly during story time. However, it became clear that I can't work in an office that is constantly noisy, nor do I possess the energy required to put on an awesome storytime multiple times a week. I have now directed these interests and talents into roller derby and teaching.

- I’m OK asking obvious/ dumb questions in meetings, because people almost always come up to me afterwards and thank me for asking them and/ or they often lead to a discussion.

- That sharing a perceived weakness can turn it into a strength. Being a librarian, I felt I should hide that I was dyslexic. I mentioned it in passing to a Developmental Studies instructor, and they pointed out that it could be inspiring for their students to see that it is possible to overcome such challenges.

- That to be a great teacher means never sitting back and saying, “Yes, that lesson plan is done, and I will never have to change it.” Being a great teacher means constantly assessing what you’re doing and incorporating new ideas and technology. This not only keeps things interesting for students, it keeps it interesting for me too!

- That I enjoy marketing/ outreach more than I ever thought I would. My first roommate in college, upon meeting me for the first time, thought I was a cheerleader because I was so excited. At the time, I thought this was a preposterous idea, as I had always thought myself quite the polar opposite of a cheerleader. Little did I know I'd become a cheerleader for libraries, learning, and roller derby!

These sections also got me thinking about completely revamping my cover letter and resume to make them more personable (maybe get a LOL) and specifically address what I can bring to each position, rather than listing what I've already done.