I don't like reading.

There, I've said it!

I'm even tempted to use the word "hate", but I feel that might be too strong.

As a librarian, I battle with this on a daily basis because it goes against every librarian stereotype, and makes me feel like I'm betraying my chosen profession.

I struggle with librarian stereotypes that would lead you to believe on a cold and rainy day, you'd find me relaxing at home, reading a book by the fire, and snuggling with my cat. I'm not overly fond of cats, and would rather snuggle with my dogs, or do something creative, than read by a fire. I struggle with the assumption by patrons and friends that I can recommend a "good read" at the drop of a hat. I can't even remember the last book I finished. Wait, yes I ca....no, no I can't. I struggle with my place in a profession so rooted in something I suck at. Reading.

For me, reading is not a leisurely pursuit. It requires great concentration, that usually ends in frustration. I'll find myself reading the same passage over, and over, only to have retained none of it. It's easy for me to get distracted while reading, because my eye doesn't just follow along with each line, but wants to skip from place to place. For me, a page of text isn't an invitation to a new understanding of something, but a blurred mass of black and white that makes me cringe. I know it will be a battle, and some days my armor isn't strong enough to wage it.

Because it takes me so long to read a whole book, even a "fun" fiction read, I don't usually have the opportunity to read new releases. Many public libraries only let you borrow new releases for 7 or 14 days, and I'd be lucky to make it halfway through by then. Can gainfully employed people really finish a whole book in that amount of time?!

I take solace in the fact that the profession is evolving, and I am finding places where my unique talents and interests can be put to use. Also, since I'm faculty, the loan period at my new institution is one year. Maybe I'll finish a book this year!